


A Grand Old Ship

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Humor, shippers on deck, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 06:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2571719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bowser would've preferred to give his son the sex talk over the shipping talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Grand Old Ship

**Author's Note:**

> First order of business. Thanks so much to everyone who gave kudos/commented/all that good stuff on my apparently most popular fics, Coming True and In Need of Council, which I still have plans to complete! But between school, Sm4sh, Minecraft, Buddyfight, and my not-so-stagnant social life, it's been a tad difficult to find time to work on them.
> 
> Second, I have an OC story in the works for the RWBY universe, but that'll come after my other two stories are done.
> 
> Third, this is something I wrote to at least get the gears creaking to life again, and I hope you all like it.
> 
> Fourth, Urbance finally FINALLY has backing, finally!
> 
> Anyway, here's some SSB nonsense~

"Dad, what's shipping?"

Bowser's fist nearly went through the Mario dummy he was pummeling, his eyes widening in shock at the seemingly innocuous question that had emanated from Junior's mouth.

"Where...where did you hear that word?" the Koopa King asked in a shaky voice.

"I was heading to the kitchen to get a snack, and Peach, Wii Fit Trainer, and Samus were talking about who 'ships' who. When I asked them what it was, Samus got really quiet, Wii Fit Trainer left the room super fast, and Peach said to ask you."

_'That bubblegum bitch.'_ thought Bowser, flames forming at the corner of his mouth.

"So? What is it?" asked the evil prince, huffing. He was just like his father; impatient, and hated being kept out of the loop.

"Uh...shipping." The elder Koopa struggled to form words. "Shipping. Shipping, shipping, shipping. It's, uh...something you...do."

Junior cocked his head; clearly he didn't understand. Bowser rubbed his temples. Why couldn't those girls keep their weird hobbies to themselves? This was the last conversation he ever expected to have with his son.

"Shipping is when you...take two people and...y'know...put 'em together."

Junior raised an eyebrow. "Like robots?"

Bowser blanched. Sometimes he worried about Junior. Sometimes. "Not exactly. It's more like...well, you know that fat baby that shoots arrows?"

"Pit?"

Bowser snorted, a small burst of smoke coming from his nostrils. He had to hand it to the kid; his sense of humor was as great as his dad's. "Nah, the other one."

"Dark Pit?"

At that, Bowser actually laughed, expelling a tiny ball of flame. "Close. Cupid?"

"That guy that shoots arrows at people to make them fall in love?" Junior grimaced. "Gross! What does he have to do with this?"

"I'm getting to that. People who 'ship' other people like to think they're Cupid. Without the arrows. And a lot less common sense."

"So...they're people who think other people should be...together."

"Yeah." Bowser snorted derisively. "Crazy, right?"

"No kidding. There's no way you and Wii Fit Trainer would end up together."

"Tell me about i--" Bowser paused. "Say what?"

"Peach was talking about how she 'ships' you and Wii Fit Trainer. I think all those kidnappings finally caught up to her."

Bowser rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hey, I'm gonna...be right back. Why don't you stay down here and...practice, or whatever?"

Junior stood on the rim of his Clown Car and saluted. "Yes, sir, Dad, sir!"

Bowser sauntered off, gleeful ideas of kidnapping Wii Fit Trained running through his head. The second the Koopa King left, Junior hopped back into his car and pulled up the radio. "Come in, Koopalings!"

"What's the good word, boss?" came Larry's excited voice. "Did it work?"

"Sure did." snickered the evil prince. "Dad's on his way up."

"Awesome!" Wendy cackled. "WFT's gonna make a great mom!"

"I still say we should've at least _tried_ Samus." huffed Roy.

"Not again with this." sighed Ludwig. "She's with Little Mac; we told you a thousand times." A scoff was Roy's reply. 

"So, what now?" asked Lemmy. "Training? Arson? Army of Metroids in the living room?"

"I was thinking we raid Villager's ice cream stash." put in Junior. "All in favor?"

"Aye!" came the voices of the Koopalings.

"And there's an 'I' in 'ice cream', so let's go get some!"

Junior sped off in his car, cackling loudly, the whoops and cheers of his cohorts ringing in his ears.

**\--END**


End file.
